Monthly Archives: March 2007

This fixes everything

Sorry about all the YouTube postings lately. This one is completely necessary to be seen. Why they didn’t just use this edit, I’ll never know. Superman 3 and 4 would never had existed and Bryan Singer’s version of Superman would have been a lot different. And funnier. This one will have you laughing I promise.

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Something from a new Simpsons… and it’s funny?

This opening sequence from a recent episode gives me a lot of hope for the movie.

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Tonight we dine in heck!

The PG version of 300:

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PG-1300 and why Americans are stupid

So the reason for “Wild Hogs” success in the box office has finally been solved. It is due to one reason, because I rule out the fact that anyone actually wants to see the film. Teen boys are reportedly purchasing tickets to Hild Wogs and sneaking in to see 300. This is something that should be happening and shouldn’t be happening. It should be happening because it’s fun to sneak into a grown up film and such, and it shouldn’t be happening because a film like “Wild Hogs” is not supposed to do well in the box office.

What happened? I remember a time when films that looked bad and got bad reviews actually bombed at the box office. This mentality has grown in the minds of Americans that if a film has one of more big stars in it, it must be a good movie. This just cannot happen. The success of “Wild Hogs” makes me miss films like “RV” and even more recently “Man of the Year” and “Snakes on a Plane.” Big stars does not equal good movie. Robin Williams is a towering figure of this mind set. It makes me sick. From every person I’ve spoken to about “Wild Hogs” I’ve heard that they were extremely disappointed. I ask them why they were expecting a great film and they attribute it to the cast. Are we losing our ability to watch a preview and distinct whether or not it is going to be a good movie or not? I may sound snobby, but are you people really that stupid? When I saw the preview for “Wild Hogs” I laughed for all the wrong reasons. I couldn’t wait for this stupid movie to fail and for Hollywood to watch another all star cast film bomb at the box office. I guess they realize how stupid many of you are. I know several people who will never watch the movie, unless they don’t have to pay or have the possibility of being paid.

Go see 300. If you are underage and want to see it, don’t buy a ticket for “Wild Hogs.” Anything but that movie. PLEASE. And America, I may not be the best at ranting about these movies, but please heed my advice. Wait for DVD on these movies. Video rental stores are dying and it’s your fault. The faster a movie bombs, the faster it comes to DVD. “Man of the Year” bombed and came on DVD in the blink of an eye. This is ridiculous.

Go see 300. Then see Grindhouse. See movies that depend on box office business. Also, see independent films. It makes people like me and the filmmakers so much happier than a corporate boss who puts out a film like the upcoming “Are We Done Yet?” That movie will ultimately do better business because it caters to dumbass, fatass, loser Americans.

I’m sorry for any of these people who are offended. I only say this because within my experience of talking to customers at my store who fit this description, I know what kind of films they will like. On many occasions when I recommend a film like Little Miss Sunshine I have 99% of the time received great thanks and praise for my movie picking techniques. Yesterday at work a man came in when I opened the store to see what new DVDs I’d put in my picks. Trust me. I know what I’m talking about.

See 300. Don’t buy a ticket for “Wild Hogs.” Wait till next week and buy a ticket for “Pride” the new Terrence Howard film. It doesn’t look like the best film but TH needs a film like this to make his career flourish. It’s not the best choice but he’s getting more recognition. The stars of “Wild Hogs” are already well-off.

There is one more reason you should not see “Wild Hogs.” That reason is this:

If 300 dies this weekend, it better not be because of this movie. I wouldn’t even mind if Adam Sandler’s new serious film beats it. Just anything besides “Wild Hogs.” Kill those pigs.

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Review: 300

Well, it was a pretty spectacular movie. I’ve never seen anything like it. The cast was perfect. The special effects are beyond cool. I really enjoyed the film experience of 300. There was only one big looming problem.

The story for me, was a little boring. That was my only problem with the film. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVED THE FILM. The battle scenes were unrelenting and powerful. The music was predictable but still haunting. The acting was not too over the top, nobody was really annoying throughout the film. I just felt a little bored whenever the story progressed. There was nothing really wrong with it, it just was a complete gear shift from THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER to checking my watch to see how much time is left.

I guess in some situations that could kill a movie, but with 300, the battle scenes make up for everything. The first battle is my favorite but I also loved the battle with the Immortals and the semi-giant monster guy. If they had toned down on those killings, the film would have suffered immensely. Zack Snyder is officially the guy to watch. I’m already excited about his next film, another adaptation of a Frank Miller comic “The Watchmen.”

So the movie had a lot of redeeming qualities and a lot of boring story. I give 300 a B+

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I’m officially pumped… And I love Bryce Dallas Howard again.

I have to see this movie… in theaters… as soon as I possibly can.

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R.I.P. Richard Jeni

I teared up when I read the headline that one of the best comedians of our time, Richard Jeni, shot himself in the face. This is really sad news. I’ve heard him on the radio dozens of times and he was such a wonderful talent. This is terrible news. Read more here.

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