PG-1300 and why Americans are stupid

So the reason for “Wild Hogs” success in the box office has finally been solved. It is due to one reason, because I rule out the fact that anyone actually wants to see the film. Teen boys are reportedly purchasing tickets to Hild Wogs and sneaking in to see 300. This is something that should be happening and shouldn’t be happening. It should be happening because it’s fun to sneak into a grown up film and such, and it shouldn’t be happening because a film like “Wild Hogs” is not supposed to do well in the box office.

What happened? I remember a time when films that looked bad and got bad reviews actually bombed at the box office. This mentality has grown in the minds of Americans that if a film has one of more big stars in it, it must be a good movie. This just cannot happen. The success of “Wild Hogs” makes me miss films like “RV” and even more recently “Man of the Year” and “Snakes on a Plane.” Big stars does not equal good movie. Robin Williams is a towering figure of this mind set. It makes me sick. From every person I’ve spoken to about “Wild Hogs” I’ve heard that they were extremely disappointed. I ask them why they were expecting a great film and they attribute it to the cast. Are we losing our ability to watch a preview and distinct whether or not it is going to be a good movie or not? I may sound snobby, but are you people really that stupid? When I saw the preview for “Wild Hogs” I laughed for all the wrong reasons. I couldn’t wait for this stupid movie to fail and for Hollywood to watch another all star cast film bomb at the box office. I guess they realize how stupid many of you are. I know several people who will never watch the movie, unless they don’t have to pay or have the possibility of being paid.

Go see 300. If you are underage and want to see it, don’t buy a ticket for “Wild Hogs.” Anything but that movie. PLEASE. And America, I may not be the best at ranting about these movies, but please heed my advice. Wait for DVD on these movies. Video rental stores are dying and it’s your fault. The faster a movie bombs, the faster it comes to DVD. “Man of the Year” bombed and came on DVD in the blink of an eye. This is ridiculous.

Go see 300. Then see Grindhouse. See movies that depend on box office business. Also, see independent films. It makes people like me and the filmmakers so much happier than a corporate boss who puts out a film like the upcoming “Are We Done Yet?” That movie will ultimately do better business because it caters to dumbass, fatass, loser Americans.

I’m sorry for any of these people who are offended. I only say this because within my experience of talking to customers at my store who fit this description, I know what kind of films they will like. On many occasions when I recommend a film like Little Miss Sunshine I have 99% of the time received great thanks and praise for my movie picking techniques. Yesterday at work a man came in when I opened the store to see what new DVDs I’d put in my picks. Trust me. I know what I’m talking about.

See 300. Don’t buy a ticket for “Wild Hogs.” Wait till next week and buy a ticket for “Pride” the new Terrence Howard film. It doesn’t look like the best film but TH needs a film like this to make his career flourish. It’s not the best choice but he’s getting more recognition. The stars of “Wild Hogs” are already well-off.

There is one more reason you should not see “Wild Hogs.” That reason is this:

If 300 dies this weekend, it better not be because of this movie. I wouldn’t even mind if Adam Sandler’s new serious film beats it. Just anything besides “Wild Hogs.” Kill those pigs.

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3 Comments

Filed under Opinion

3 responses to “PG-1300 and why Americans are stupid

  1. Sean

    Go Josh Go. I hate the steady dumbing down of America. Everything from school to movies have become simpler and stupider. People of America, STOP BEING IDIOTS!

  2. mrs. lady

    Ok, since you already know everything, you may already have heard about this. But I just found this out and it made me smile.

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070322/tv_nm/hbo_dc;_ylt=AjAeAL9O_6naTNGHqPk.SblxFb8C

    I Love little Paul. 🙂

  3. C Diddy

    Hey…

    U kno what I heard?
    That for many African American movies in order to ensure a weak box-office showing, theaters routinely give movie goers tickets for other movies. I was a skeptic til one day wen I went to go see Deja Vu ( with Denzel washington) and they gave me a ticket to some other movie that hadnt gotten as goos reviwes as Deja Vu but was all white…

    Now this could just be a battle of studios, but I think otherwise

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